J. Jonah Perciballi
There’s a menace roaming the streets of Rose City and his name is the Windsor Spider! Copying New York’s popular vandal “Spider-Man” the “Windsor Spider” has been walking around our city as a masked vigilante stirring up trouble on the popular dating site “Instagram”.
Masked hero’s should not be idolized!, We don’t know what this person does when they are not in costume! The Windsor Spider is most likely a guilt ridden criminal trying to boost his ego preying on the endless scrolling nation. Perhaps he has a hidden political agenda! Or worse! Maybe he vapes!
Whatever the case fellow Windsorites we cannot allow our youth to be inspired by a fake hero, They need real heroes! You don’t see firemen running around taking photos with civilians like they are a Kardashian sister!
The worst possibility is that this leaves room for an entire cast of fake personas to rise up under a romanticized mask! Isn’t it already enough that we have the masked villain “Tequila Bob”? now we have a vigilante, I’m telling you Windsor this cannot end well!
Rest Assured citizens, J Jonah Perciballi will be here questioning the Spiderman and any other fake idols that rise in our fair city! The only good thing that can come from any of this is my wife possibly getting her credit card stolen by this circus freak!
And if you see the villain Spider-Man tweet photos @AndyofWindsor, let’s catch him in the act! #Windsorspider
This is a work of fiction by Andrew Perciballi